an ideal day

I have been skimming the pages of several of my old journals and they’ve been rather inspiring and eye-opening. It’s amazing how you ebb and flow as a human being; how sometimes you’re on top of it and other times you are not; how you can be extremely healthy at some point in your life and anorexic at another; completely nuts at one point and level-headed now.

In my journals, I put down my thoughts, organize my day’s work and research or look over notes. It's an amazing way to get my thoughts out onto the page in order to use them. I love to write in a journal when I am reading a book or in the midst of writing. Many of my character notes on my last film are found throughout the pages. Discussions on religion/spirituality, art, death, suicide, alcoholism, friendship… all themes in the film.

In my 2006 journal, I wrote a lot when I was reading, researching and writing the script. I had a rather wonderful lifestyle, which I am trying to get back into… It's definitely a writer's life. When in the morning, after waking, I’d get up, make myself some tea or coffee and spend some time on the porch writing and reading as the sun just situated itself in the sky. Sometimes I would wake just as the sun was rising and everything is so quiet outside as the World comes alive and it is an amazing moment to work.

I think what is so important is the balance between introspective/introvert work days and extroverted/outgoing days off. A perfect day would be one that has that balance. That if it’s work, it feel genuine and that I’ve given myself space to be free, so I can be serious when necessary.

I am now on a mission for centeredness – in my mind, body and soul – and there are things I have to start doing or going back to - yoga, pilates, meditation, journal writing, hiking up into Bronson Park... But how does one find peace within one self? Do they move to a place they feel they’d be happier? I asked this same question at nineteen and I asked myself if it was through “Taoism? Meditation? Simplicity?” All these things I know have helped me and I have not kept up with for a long time.

Today I went to my Pilates session, where my friend Karina is my instructor, and I feel like practicing Pilates is going to not only work me out and not only help how I carry myself physically, but I think it will support me as I move forward with my life psychologically and emotionally. Everything in life - that you have control over - should support you, motivate you, push you forward and inspire you in some way... It takes a lot to keep the negative out.

There are a string of things that I would like to start doing again, like:

- making yoga an every day part of my life again
- re-learn Russian and French
- take photography classes
- continue going to the gym and start swimming.
- start meditating again.
- hiking up that damn Bronson Park HILL again.

And to start on another foot, I'm gonna get out of the neighborhood for a little while tonight and watch a rather beautiful man perform at the Hotel Café...